Silly Things Characters Do...

By johntr@harlowbutler.co.uk

The one with the nuclear artillery strike

Ben and Timbo (you know who you are) get into a situation where they need to call down a nuclear strike from space onto a location very near to them.

After calling in the strike, Timbo goes behind a hill, digs a huge hole and hides in it.

Ben states that he's "never seen a nuclear explosion from this close", and decides to watch it from the top of the hill...

The one with the thirty minute timer

The party place a nuclear bomb in place on the third floor of a building. They then proceed to set the timer to a quite astonishing thirty minutes, leaving very little time to get away ... and then they go back to the lobby, press the lift call button and patiently wait for the lift!!! (Which takes quite a while to arrive.)

The one in the snow storm

Their All-Terrain-Vehicle being bogged down in snow, the party need to refresh the hydrogen in the vehicle power plant. The power plant comes with a processing plant which will split water into hydrogen, so a few buckets of water are called for. Much time and effort is subsequently spent planning and executing a trip from the vehicle to a lake three miles away in the freezing cold snowstorm currently raging outside. It is only when the party are within 100 yards of the vehicle on the way back when they remember what snow is made of...

The one in the minefield

The party come across a tank which has had one track blown off by a mine. They shoot up the tank crew, fit the spare tank track and drive off ... straight into another mine! (Minefields are full of 'em.)

The one with the player locked in the airlock

Andrew is attempting to break into an All Terrain Vehicle, but has managed to get himself locked in the airlock. He has a backpack full of explosive, and so decides to blow the doors off.

He miscalculates the amount of explosive needed, and fails to blow the door off. However, he does nearly kill himself from being right next to the explosion (well, there's nowhere to hide in an airlock).

Not discouraged by his brush with death, however, he decides that the only problem with his approach is that he wasn't using enough explosive. He therefore tries again using his entire supply ... and blows up not only the airlock doors, but also the airlock, the whole ATV ... and also himself.

The one with the helicopter gunship

Daniel is sneaking around a spaceport late at night, when he is caught in the searchlight of a helicopter gunship who is looking out for such nefarious activity.

"Halt, or we fire!", they announce over their tannoy system. Daniel knows that these gunships are equipped with a number of 7.62mm miniguns. But does he surrender? What do you think?

"Is there anywhere to hide?" he asks.

"Well, " I reply, "There're some empty plywood packing cases."

"I'll hide behind those, and ready my grenade launcher." ...

Although plywood has many industrial uses, it's resistance to high velocity bullets is not generally marked among them.

The one with the jeep

(I have seen this happen so many times ...)

The party would like some transport. They hide up near a road, set an ambush and wait. Eventually, along comes a jeep with a handful of enemy soldiers.

The party spring the ambush, and after a short battle kill the soldiers. They then stroll over to the captured jeep.

"Right", says the leader, "who can drive?"

No-one...

[As soon as I'd posted this, I realised that more explanations were called for.

The game was Traveller, where the primary mode of transport at the tech levels where the players originated was the grav raft. Wheeled vehicle skills were as uncommon as horse riding skills are today. So when they found themselves on tech level 6 or 7 worlds, they found themselves lacking a few basic skills.

It's just that I would have expected them to check that at least one person knew how to drive before massacring a jeep-load of people ... and what's even worse, the same party did the same thing again ... and again (over a period of years, admittedly).]